Don’t ask your kids to look at the camera - here’s why!
If I ask any adult or child on the planet - “What do you say when you look at the camera?”…the collective exclamation of ‘CHEESE’ would be overwhelming (and no doubt crack me up, it’s always a hoot watching people’s mouths stretch around that word). During my time alive I have also heard some pretty epic alternatives - MONKEYS, HAIRY LEGS, BANANA, SMILE or simply the noise ‘EEEEEE’ (this one is mostly reserved for the toddler friends out there). It’s our tried and tested formula to get someone to look at the camera lens and appear to be smiling. Imma propose something though - how about next time you have your phone out ready to snap a photo of your gorgeous kiddo, you don’t ask them to look at you…at all?
I know, right. You’re no doubt thinking - “jeez louise Jess, I just want a nice photo of my kiddo, and they’re so absorbed in their own world right now, so I’ll just call their name real quick for them to look up”. Super fab, and a perfectly normal thing to do. Over the years of snapping pics, I tend to notice that this also runs the risk of a very distracted looking kiddo, a strained smile and a tense body. Still cute (our kids are always cute let's be real), but how do we capture the truly relaxed, natural, joy shining through this photo?
Realistically, calling their name and asking for their attention can interrupt the amazing flow of their imagination and their current sensory experience of the world. And if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that kids are the absolute best version of living in the moment. If you’re wanting that natural candid look for your snaps, I suggest trying an alternative…don’t ask them to look at the camera!
Next time you whip your phone out to take a pic, watch what happens when you call for your child's attention, when they are focused elsewhere. Over the years, here are the big hitters that I notice during shoots:
The face muscles tense
The smile changes from spontaneous to frozen
Their bodies begin to move in less smooth and natural motions
That sparkle in the eye can dim as they feel like they need to perform instead of freely play
I mean - I kind of get it. When I’m in the middle of something, feeling my flow, vibing and enjoying my mind doing its thing…and someone asks for my immediate attention, it takes a second to pull my brain away from the moment I was in. I also tense, I’m not immediately focused on the new task and I can feel a little off put for being interrupted. I’m trying to draw a professional analogy but honestly, in my life, the best example I have is going to the loo. That's when my kid, or my dog suddenly demands immediate attention. Lordy me it is not a joyful moment lol!
SO. When you stop asking for your kid to look at the camera - how the heck do you get that beautiful shot of them, face open and relaxed, looking at you? I’m going to hit you hard and fast with my top tips to still get the shot, even when you aren’t asking them to look.
1. Patience
I know it can feel like moments slip by so fast and your child will never do exactly that one thing ever again. They will! It’s in their nature to explore and repeat actions to learn skills. Just wait. Observe rather than pose them, and the most magical things end up happening. Quietly watch them, breathe, and let them do their thing. You may have a camera in your hand, but you yourself will be more in the moment by simply watching your child exist.
2. Observation.
Slowing yourself down even by a second to watch how your kids move and express themselves is the BOMB. Be less actively involved in the moment and let it unfold. Be mindful and you’ll catch much more natural expressions, and the true essence of who that gorgeous baby of yours is.
3. Rely on their love and trust for you.
Kids have this super cool developmental mechanism, they constantly seek out the people they love and trust. Either physically, or simply with a look. They want to share their discovery of the world with you, they want to check if you're engaged and therefore able to guide them if need be, they want to share their every emotion with their safe person - you. I’m sure you could deep dive into the psychology behind it if so inclined! Chat to them normally as they go about the activity or moment. What it comes down to - they will seek you out, primarily by making eye contact. And boy oh boy - THAT’S when you click the camera. That look will be open, joyful, the smile will be natural, a shared moment.
4. Movement
The last tip is a somewhat practical one. It’s simply that you move instead of them. If you are able to move yourself to a better angle instead of asking them to move, amazing. You can leave them in their sensory and world experience of the moment, and meet them there, instead of pulling them into your world. Obviously I do this to an extreme level as a photographer - I’ve climbed trees, walked into the sea, lay flat in the mud, anything for the shot! I don't suggest you do this mostly because the risk of injury and extra loads of washing after is large haha!
After all that, let me also say - there will always be times when you need to yell cheese and have kiddos look at the camera. It can be so funny and it is one of the best ways to get their attention. I constantly crack up behind the lens watching toddlers scream cheese while they pose for a photo. I promise you though - next time you whip out the camera, and try not asking them to look at you, you will love the results. A camera filled with relaxed, emotion filled, joyful photos. Maybe even a few candid shots of your kids just existing that 20 years from now you will treasure, as it shows all the little quirks and movements that makes them them. Happy snapping babes! x